1. Who offended you, and what did they do?

2. What did their action cost you — what was lost, damaged, or taken?

3. Have you allowed yourself to feel the full weight of the offense, or have you minimized it?

1. What do you want from this person — apology, acknowledgment, restitution, suffering?

2. Do they owe you those things? Why or why not?

3. What does it mean that forgiveness does not require any of those things to come first?

1. What have you been forgiven by God — what did it cost Him to forgive you?

2. How does Colossians 3:13 tie your forgiveness of others to God's forgiveness of you?

3. What would it be like to hold both your pain and the gospel at the same time?

1. Forgiveness is a decision of the will, not a feeling. Are you willing to make that decision, even without feeling it yet?

2. Write a statement of release — "I choose to release [name] from the debt they owe me for [offense]."

3. What emotions arise when you write that? Bring them honestly to God.

1. When will you know you have truly forgiven? (Hint: When the memory returns without the demand for payment.)

2. What will you do the next time the bitterness rises — and it will?

3. Is reconciliation appropriate here? Forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same — discern the difference.